This morning my mom woke me up for work. It was weird. I told her to stop doing it.
Then she packed me lunch, which was also weird. But kind of cool. For some reason, I get the feeling that she likes to do these things. I don’t know why - she did this shit for me for over a decade a long time ago.
She packed me a can of San Pellegrino Limonata. I want to talk about this canned beverage for a moment. This is the best fucking canned beverage in existence. On the top of the can, there is a foil covering. This is the most brilliant addition to the canned beverage since the flip tab. Why? Because it prevents disgusting gunk from getting into the crevasses within the topmost facade of the can. It also adds a peeling sensation to the experience. Peeling is a great sensation. I wish I had more time to peel.
She also packed me white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. I can’t remember the last time I had cookies. The last time I said that, I was sitting next to a girl at work who had baked cookies for everyone 2 days prior. I had forgotten because I eat cookies so rarely. I take the cookie for granted. It’s a great snack.
A 100-calorie packet of Emerald almonds was also included in my lunch bag. My mom buys the funniest fucking food on the planet. I doubt she knows what a cheetoh is. Not that I want cheetohs, I actually love almonds.
I used to microwave popcorn for 3 minutes. My mom recently opened my mind up to the 4 minute method. I said, “But mom, won’t that burn some of the popcorn?” to which she replied, “Ha! Foolish Paduan, you have so much to learn.” After eating a few bags at 4 minutes I realized that the slightly burnt pieces are actually pretty damn good, especially when consumed in tandem with the unburnt pieces. Also, 4 minutes gives a much more favorable popcorn-to-kernel ratio. You also get way more busted kernels, and if you don’t know the delight of eating a busted kernel I honestly have no sympathy for you.
The commute blows but it forces me to play less chess and read a bit more. I’m reading a book on chess openings. I currently favor the Italian opening from white and the Steinitz defense from black. Although, most of the players I face are within the 1300-1700 range so they don’t do a queen’s pawn opening. The Steinitz defense from black works most efficiently against the queen’s pawn opening (which is the opening with the highest rate of victory amongst ranked chess worldwide). Most players I face use the Ruy-Lopez from white.
Work is mad busy and I’m doing too much freelance. I need a week to get my money right and organize my shit. I want to throw out tons of stuff. I need to start promoting The Instructions Project. And participating myself.
